On Responding to God's call

God, you have chosen me to follow you despite my not being worthy.  Help me to get the courage to say yes to your call so that I may receive your promises.

Give the Grace I pray to trust you and to turn my gaze to you so that I may overcome the fears that hold me back.  Help me to know your will for me and to follow it.

Holy Spirit, I ask for your guidance and your help as I strive to do the Lord's will.  Help me to give my all to Christ so that I may live a life that is worthy of the call from Him.

Waiting... and Trusting

About a month ago I submitted my paperwork requesting entrance to the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church.  I have been working very hard at not paying attention to the time and trusting that the Lord will do it all in His time.  However, this task has proven to be just very difficult; I am trying quite hard to fight the urge to call and to inquire about the receipt of my documents and when I can expect a response.  Obedience is something I am learning to practice more and more daily.  As the prophet Samuel said to Saul "To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed better than the fat of rams" 1 Samuel 15:22. 

I have also applied for the MEFV and currently working with the Labouré Society for assistance in eliminating my student debt; I find that I'm overcome by a fear so great that it is sometimes painful to think of the future.  I fear that I may not be able to give my life to the Lord due to my financial obstacles.  I know these fears are due to a lack of utter trust in the Lord.  However, try as I might I cannot totally trust the Lord to take care of these obstacles.  This doubt in the Lord pains me even more so than my fear of not being able to truly be His and give my life for Him. 

When I started my discernment process, it seemed that I had all of the trust and none of the patience.  I remember begging the Lord to show me to tell me ASAP whether or not He was calling me and to show me in lightening speed what it is that He had planned for me.  What never worried me was my student debt; I always felt and trusted that if the Lord was calling me to Him my financial obstacles meant nothing.

Daily I find myself asking the Lord to take away my doubt and to help me to remain faithful to Him and to continue to trust.  I pray the Blessed Mother along with St. Michael can help me fight the devil's attempts to divert me from the Lord.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I strive each day to be Obedient to the Lord's timing and to trust in Him more and more.

On Trusting the Lord

We are called to give of ourselves in order to receive, to empty ourselves in order to be filled.  How then do I come to know that I am doing so?  The call to religious life is about sacrifice for the love of Christ.  I must learn to trust in the Lord's guidance and Providence so that I may let go.

I find that it is a lack of trust which leads me to have reluctance and anxiety about taking action.  Help me Holy Spirit to get the strength/trust to act.  Amen

On being bought back by Christ

Christ has called me to Him despite the fact that I could never in a million years be worthy of that call.  This is again confirmation the the call to religious life is not at all about me (a sinner) but rather about Him.  It He who drives me to seek.  It is He whom I aim to be for others, who I want to encounter in others.  Holy Spirit, grant me the grace to never forget that the call and the life is about Christ. Amen

The power of Novenas

I probably should have two separate posts (one for the MEFV) and another for the Novenas but I am being lazy. So the application to the MEFV Grant was due yesterday (had to be postmarked by then) and though I had intended to do my hours novena to the infant of Prague in front of the Blessed Sacrament, I ended up doing half of it at work and the other half in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

For those of you who may not know, the infant of Prague was perfect for this situation (patron of vocations, finances, students among others) I think I may want to do a days novena in another few weeks. The thing is, this was my first time saying a full novena. I have always ended up missing a day or something would deter me from completing a novena. For a reason that I cannot explain, I felt such a peace and confidence as I started to near the end of my novena. I must confess that when it came to novenas although I would join with others in saying them, I never fully trusted (might be because I never had the chance to complete one) or it could be because I was never inspired by the Holy Spirit to do one.

I have been feeling this urging to do a 54-day Rosary novena (the rosary is very dear to my heart) and I started it yesterday with the goal of finishing on the day of my Consecration to the Blessed Mother. Back to the point here, what I mean by pointing out the power of novenas is that it reinforces our Trust in the Lord and our confidence in Him to provide for us, whether the Lord provides on our time or not. In my case for example, I was very anxious about the MEFV application and almost didn't turn it in. However, I decided that I would turn it in as well as say a novena that would end on the due date. After completing the 7th hour I knew and trusted that the Lord will provide and if it is His design for me to enter next year, He will remove any obstacle. However, if His will is for me to wait I must trust in that and I do, (this was the source of my anxiety before)

I have learned that Novenas are not for everyone and we must trust the Holy Spirit's guidance when it comes to saying a novena. However, if you allow yourself to be guided in carefully choosing a novena, the fruits can be astounding. Perhaps something is weighing down your spirit and you feel that you need help, I invite you to bring your troubles to Him through the intercession of one or a couple of your favorite saints.

Pax