So I have been actively discerning a call to the religious life for about three years now and for these three years I have been working with the vicar at my parish who serves as my Spiritual Director. I had met him a little less than a year prior to starting my discernment and I felt super comfortable with him as a SD because of the fact that he had recently been ordained.
Sadly our diocesan priests do not stay in one place for too long so my good friend and great spiritual guide had to go where he was called/assigned. Though I knew it was inevitable, when he told me I had to fight to retain tears; I knew it was for the best and that in the Lord's wonderful wisdom the timing was perfect for his growth as well as the parish's but that didn't stop me from being upset about it.
He was kind enough to recommend a new SD, a priest from another parish whom he thought would be a great match to my spiritual style. I agreed reluctantly and I got in contact with "the new guy" I was just shocked at how quickly he was willing to "hand me over" to the next guide so to speak. I mean it's over that quickly? I was expecting the transition to be a more kinder process.
I thought I was so ready for religious life because I had mastered detachment, well it turned out that I was far from it. Here I was preparing myself and my family for the time when they would say goodbye and I couldn't even manage to say goodbye to a SD that I saw once a month! I see the new SD again in about three weeks and I am truly looking forward to it to see what God has in store for me. The close of this chapter in my spiritual growth is a gentle reminder that I am not at all in control and that I need to continue to trust God.
Please pray for me because I truly want His will to be done.
Pax,
Hopeful
Sadly our diocesan priests do not stay in one place for too long so my good friend and great spiritual guide had to go where he was called/assigned. Though I knew it was inevitable, when he told me I had to fight to retain tears; I knew it was for the best and that in the Lord's wonderful wisdom the timing was perfect for his growth as well as the parish's but that didn't stop me from being upset about it.
He was kind enough to recommend a new SD, a priest from another parish whom he thought would be a great match to my spiritual style. I agreed reluctantly and I got in contact with "the new guy" I was just shocked at how quickly he was willing to "hand me over" to the next guide so to speak. I mean it's over that quickly? I was expecting the transition to be a more kinder process.
I thought I was so ready for religious life because I had mastered detachment, well it turned out that I was far from it. Here I was preparing myself and my family for the time when they would say goodbye and I couldn't even manage to say goodbye to a SD that I saw once a month! I see the new SD again in about three weeks and I am truly looking forward to it to see what God has in store for me. The close of this chapter in my spiritual growth is a gentle reminder that I am not at all in control and that I need to continue to trust God.
Please pray for me because I truly want His will to be done.
Pax,
Hopeful
*praying*
ReplyDeleteThanks for the prayers Mike. They are soo needed, especially right now; I am trying to see how God is guiding me to get these student loans resolved.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. My previous spiritual director in 2009 from before "handed me" over to my current spiritual director. I went from have a spiritual director who did many activities to a spiritual director who thrive on building friendships. Such a change for me to get used to!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, religious and diocesan priests tend to move around often. It gives me a taste of what I will experience when moving around so much as a religious sister; I have to learn to let go. Prayers are with you always!!