Do you ever have moments of great clarity and confidence only to face painfully difficult moments of doubt and second guessing? I know I must trust the Lord with all of my fears and all that I am. However, I find myself struggling to remain confident in the knowledge that the Lord has indeed called me to live the life of a religious. I find myself second-guessing my discernment process and the events that led me to saying yes to religious life.
This doubt comes from fears that I have kept to myself. Fears that I have not brought to the Lord. It comes from the evil one tempting me with fleeting pleasures and a sense of loss; loss of the chance to be a mother, a wife and many other things. There is a storm within my heart and I know that I need only to turn to the Lord for comfort.
Jesus, help me to truly surrender to your will and to give you my heart wholly and completely. Holy Spirit, help me to be open to your gentle urgings in my heart. Holy Spirit, come.
About Me
- HopefulBride
- Florida, United States
- I am a Hopeful Bride of Christ and I long for the day I can dedicate all of my life to Him. I have been actively discerning religious life for about 4 years now and I have been accepted to enter the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church. I hope to begin formation soon and beg your prayers that my student loans do not keep me from entering. With your help and prayers I hope that my entrance to the SMMC will soon be reality. Rest assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers - most especially those young men and women discerning their vocations, whether to the religious life, priesthood or married life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey toward Him.
I would take your doubts to a spiritual director, too... he can help you distinguish between your own stormy feelings and real leading from God. I entered a convent not long ago and ended up discerning I wasn't called to religious life. The superior of that order and my spiritual directors were so important in helping me figure it out.
ReplyDeleteWell, anyway, it's really hard to be in a place of uncertainty... I've been there. But God is good. If I ever doubted that, I knew I was wrong. :)
Hello Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment and thanks for the suggestion. I actually just saw my Spiritual Director recently and we talked about that. He reminded me of the importance of living out my faith and my Hope in the Lord day by day. (I'm actually working on a blog post about that)
It is indeed very hard to discern amidst the moments of doubt and fear but I am learning to trust and to live one day at a time.
Prayers,
Hopeful
I admittedly cannot give any advice, but certainly I am praying for you, that God will lead you in the direction He wishes you to go. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the prayers Mike. You are in my prayers as well.
ReplyDeleteThank-you for your prayers. :-)
ReplyDeleteHello dear...just follow your heart
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