Hope in the Lord

My car finally sold and by the Grace of God it sold for more than I owed on it.  This presented a wonderful opportunity for me to receive yet another confirmation of the Lord's call and another shower of graces.  I also learned that I was not a grantee for the MEFV grant this year and I have been trying to figure out why my outlook is still positive.  Granted, there are some fleeting moments of sadness when I think of waiting until next year to enter the convent.  I am then quickly comforted and reminded of God's providence.  I don't know why I feel this way, perhaps it is because of the knowledge that whatever God's timing is, it will be the perfect timing for me.

Had all of this been happening a couple of years ago it would have been enough to make me question my call to religious life and whether or not it was the will of God.  Now however, I find that I am constantly reminding myself to turn to him in moments of despair.  Despite the stumbles, I try to remember that the Lord has in fact called me and it is up to me to be open to finding out where this journey will lead.

I have always heard even repeated to others that the Lord does not give us more than we can handle.  I must say that until these past few months, this saying has been just words to me.  True I knew what it meant.  However, having to persevere despite these obstacles, I have truly understood what it means.  I realize that it has not been just me handling and facing these obstacles but the Lord with me.  Mother Teresa talks of this strong love that she felt for the Lord in the early years as a missionary.  She explains that she never felt that love again but yet she trusted and continued to hope in the Lord.  The same experience was shared by St. Teresa of Avila.  Through their moments of despair they continued to pray and hope in the Lord.  Such a strong hope in Him can only come through unwavering, growing faith.

Daily I ask the Lord to help me grow in faith and daily I see His hand in my life.  I pray and hope that like Moses, St. Teresa and Blessed mother Teresa I continue to trust, to pray and to grow in faith but most importantly to never cease to hope in the Lord.

Do not Worry about tomorrow

I have been really bad at keeping this blog updated; so much has happened since my last post.  I had a wonderful opportunity to serve as a chaperonne for the IHS (In His Steps) youth group in my area and the mountains of Georgia (where we went) only made me miss my sisters even more.  I cannot wait for the day when I can begin formation.

Just a bit of a recap, I received my formal acceptance from Mother Kathryn and I am just over the moon.  It's one thing to know of my acceptance, it's another to actually get the letter in hand with a date to boot!  I am accepted as a candidate for the class of August 2012.  I just pray that I am able to actually enter this year, I do know though that if I must wait until next year it is because the Lord wills it.  I only hope I continue to be open to the graces He bestows on me and continue to grow spiritually. 

I have heard from the Mater Ecclesiae foundation and I was not selected for a grant.  However, I am able to re-apply (more details will come from them later).  It is strange though that I feel this calm and peace about not receiving the grant.  I have this trust in the Lord that He will provide for me in His own time.  I know this sounds cheesy but as much as I try to worry about the MEFV's decision, I am comforted by my trust in His Divine Providence. 

So now it is Sunday February 27th and I am counting down the days until I get to see my sisters and spend my birthday with them.  I am so grateful for this opportunity; it has been almost a year since I last saw them, how time flies!  I get to speak with Mother Kathryn about the details of my entrance and I am trusting it all in His hands.

In light of what has been going on with me, I found today's gospel to be very fitting.  It was another reminder that I needn't worry about when I will enter and how I will manage to pay off my student loans.  Right now, my only focus needs to be growing in the virtues, in closeness to our Our Lady and Christ Himself.  It is just amazing how the Lord speaks to us when we need to hear Him the most.  I pray that I continue to trust in His Providence and continue to lay my worries at His feet.

Please keep my in your prayers as I shall continue to keep you in mine.

In Christ, our Hope
Hopeful 

Head over heels

Ever caught yourself so happy that you can't stop smiling in the middle of the day (with no apparent reason?)

Well, that is me today.  I don't know why (perhaps it is because I am feeling His love in a very special way today) but I can't stop smiling and "cheesing"  I feel like a young woman in love who cannot wait to see her love again.

My devotional reading this morning brought a smile to my face because it was a reminder of what my SD, my confessor and everyone else has been telling me.  "In moments of failure, I need to turn to the Lord even more"  The realization that Christ loves me no matter what is just to much to bear, I am bursting :).

I guess I'm just a girl in love.

In His Love,
Hopeful