About Me

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Florida, United States
I am a Hopeful Bride of Christ and I long for the day I can dedicate all of my life to Him. I have been actively discerning religious life for about 4 years now and I have been accepted to enter the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church. I hope to begin formation soon and beg your prayers that my student loans do not keep me from entering. With your help and prayers I hope that my entrance to the SMMC will soon be reality. Rest assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers - most especially those young men and women discerning their vocations, whether to the religious life, priesthood or married life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey toward Him.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pray With me

As some of you may be aware I have been Storming Heaven heavily for the past couple of months because I strongly desire to start formation next summer and with the hefty amount of my loans, I will need more help than just paying a bit extra every month.  I am currently doing a Novena to St. Francis Xavier and this morning started a Novena to the Immaculate Conception (how could I resist when the Blessed Mother is so dear to my heart?) I also thought it was perfect since the 8th of December is the day of my consecration (I am consecrating myself to her as well, in the example set by St. Louis de Montfort)

I invite you to join me in prayer - perhaps you have something that you really need Mary's assistance with or maybe you have a friend or family member you wish to pray for.  I also invite you to send me any of your intentions and I will be more than happy to add them to mine.

First, recite the Prayer to the Immaculate Conception. Then, recite the appropriate prayer of each of the nine days.


O God,  who by the Immaculate Conception
of the Blessed Virgin Mary,
did prepare a worthy dwelling place for Your Son,
we beseech You that, as by the foreseen death of this, Your Son, You did preserve Her from all stain,
so too You would permit us, purified through Her intercession,  to come unto You.
Through the same Lord Jesus Christ,  Your Son, who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, world without end.


Day One
O most Holy Virgin, who was pleasing to the Lord and became His mother, immaculate in body and spirit, in faith and in love, look kindly on me as I implore your powerful intercession. O most Holy Mother, who by your blessed Immaculate Conception, from the first moment of your conception did crush the head of the enemy, receive our prayers as we implore you to present at the throne of God the favor we now request...

(State your intention here...) 
O Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Mother of Christ, you had influence with your Divine Son while upon this earth; you have the same influence now in heaven. Pray for us and obtain for us from him the granting of my petition if it be the Divine Will. 


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Going Steady

Today I met with my Spiritual Director and we had a brief chat about how things are going with me.  I shared with him some of my recent doubts lately and the temptations that I have been fighting with (should I date, perhaps I should look into a different community)

These feelings are coming in while I have been waiting for a formal response from the community I have applied to and as I wait, I start to find myself falter in my trust in the Lord.  Though deep in my heart I know I want nothing more than to belong to Christ, I have been fighting these doubts that I know are nothing less than the evil one's attempts to thwart me.  I expressed to my SD that I don't want to love anyone like I love Christ and I want to fall in love with Him like I have never fallen in love with anyone before.  If only I could learn to trust in Him and in my relationship with Him.  I feel as though I am a young woman in a relationship where my lack of confidence in my boyfriend's feelings are leading me to question what I know deep within me is a good and solid relationship.

Father's response was ever so supporting and understanding and he said that like in a new relationship, there will be ups and downs; there will be arguments; good times and bad times.  But I must not turn back, I must continue to go forward and take that next step and that is to go steady.  Like one worried about limiting my opportunities I hesitate to go steady but yet I desire that more than anything; I want to know that I am exclusively His but I hesitate because of the fear that He may not want me exclusively to Himself.

Some time earlier in my discernment, I shared with a Vocation Directress how anxious I was to know that the Lord wanted me to be His and how my heart ached to know and to be His bride.  Her reply was to ask Him; I am now realizing that though I have asked the Lord to show me His will, I have not asked Him to call me to Himself.  I want very much to be called to Him but there is an underlying fear that holds me back.  Pray with me dear readers that I may surrender to Him and trust in His love for me.

In His Love,

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

On Responding to God's call

God, you have chosen me to follow you despite my not being worthy.  Help me to get the courage to say yes to your call so that I may receive your promises.

Give the Grace I pray to trust you and to turn my gaze to you so that I may overcome the fears that hold me back.  Help me to know your will for me and to follow it.

Holy Spirit, I ask for your guidance and your help as I strive to do the Lord's will.  Help me to give my all to Christ so that I may live a life that is worthy of the call from Him.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Waiting... and Trusting

About a month ago I submitted my paperwork requesting entrance to the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church.  I have been working very hard at not paying attention to the time and trusting that the Lord will do it all in His time.  However, this task has proven to be just very difficult; I am trying quite hard to fight the urge to call and to inquire about the receipt of my documents and when I can expect a response.  Obedience is something I am learning to practice more and more daily.  As the prophet Samuel said to Saul "To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed better than the fat of rams" 1 Samuel 15:22. 

I have also applied for the MEFV and currently working with the LabourĂ© Society for assistance in eliminating my student debt; I find that I'm overcome by a fear so great that it is sometimes painful to think of the future.  I fear that I may not be able to give my life to the Lord due to my financial obstacles.  I know these fears are due to a lack of utter trust in the Lord.  However, try as I might I cannot totally trust the Lord to take care of these obstacles.  This doubt in the Lord pains me even more so than my fear of not being able to truly be His and give my life for Him. 

When I started my discernment process, it seemed that I had all of the trust and none of the patience.  I remember begging the Lord to show me to tell me ASAP whether or not He was calling me and to show me in lightening speed what it is that He had planned for me.  What never worried me was my student debt; I always felt and trusted that if the Lord was calling me to Him my financial obstacles meant nothing.

Daily I find myself asking the Lord to take away my doubt and to help me to remain faithful to Him and to continue to trust.  I pray the Blessed Mother along with St. Michael can help me fight the devil's attempts to divert me from the Lord.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I strive each day to be Obedient to the Lord's timing and to trust in Him more and more.