About Me

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Florida, United States
I am a Hopeful Bride of Christ and I long for the day I can dedicate all of my life to Him. I have been actively discerning religious life for about 4 years now and I have been accepted to enter the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church. I hope to begin formation soon and beg your prayers that my student loans do not keep me from entering. With your help and prayers I hope that my entrance to the SMMC will soon be reality. Rest assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers - most especially those young men and women discerning their vocations, whether to the religious life, priesthood or married life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey toward Him.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Birthday in the Convent

Yesterday was day two of my visit with the sisters and it also happened to be my birthday.  I was so excited to spend my birthday with the sisters that I didn't care whether or not they knew.  Well, it turned out that Mother Kathryn knew and she made sure the other sisters knew too.  After prayers, she wished me a happy birthday and after mass the other sisters joined in and they sang me happy birthday.  Though that was satisfying enough for me, two of the sisters surprised me and took me to Starbucks! 

We had dinner early because of meetings all throughout the rest of the day so dinner was earlier than usual.  Before dinner, Mother and the sisters surprised me again!  She presented me with a small gift bag that contained a beautiful card and a very nice candle.  I was able to have dinner with most of the sisters and afterwards we chatted a bit over dishes. 

Before I knew it, the time came for me to retie to my room and I fell asleep so soundly.  I am still trying to find the best time to fall asleep so that I do not wake up too early (3:00 a.m. pacific) 

Tonight the sisters have a fundraising dinner that is held in collaboration with the Knights of Columbus.  Please keep them in your prayers that it may be successful and that those in attendance will grow closer to the Lord through the sisters' witness.  I will be sure to keep you posted on how the rest of my visit is going.

More to come.

In Christ,
Hopeful

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

God's Faithfulness

Some of you may be aware that I was visiting my sisters this week (pictures to come)  I have been so excited about this trip that I packed almost a week early.   I barely slept last night due to the fact that I had to travel 3 hours to get to my flight.  By the time I made it to the first leg of the trip I was already tired and in bad need of some sleep.  I was very glad when we landed in Atlanta and I realized that I did not have as long a layover as I thought.  Barely awake I dragged myself to the gate where the second leg of the trip would begin only to realize that I did not have my purse with me.  I tried not to panic and I started retracing my steps in an effort to find my purse before my next flight.  I located a TSA agent who sadly was not able to give me much reassurance, when I told her that I thought my bag was left on the train she said that it may get treated as a bomb and destroyed, now at this point I was internally repeating "Don't panic" over and over.  Nevertheless, she suggested trying to go back to the plane that I had just left and from there to try the train.

On my way back to the gate, I managed to locate a Delta agent who was kind enough to take me on the plane but sadly my purse was not on my seat.  Panicked, I started to feel light headed and before I knew it tears were coming fast.  That bag had everything (wallet, ID, Debit card, prayer books, checkbook, boarding pass, my glasses and everything else girls usually stuff down their bags)  Walking back from the plane, I quickly said a prayer to St. Anthony asking for his help and asked God to help me find the bag.  Long story short I had left the bag on the train and it went around a few times (without being stolen or anything!) until finally someone noticed it and turned it in.  To make things even better, the agent to whom it was turned in made sure to book me on the next flight (I had missed the flight while trying to find my purse) at no charge to myself.

I know it was not a coincidence that my bag was found with everything in it.  I know very well it was not a coincidence that the agents were kind enough to spend almost an hour with me trying to track down the bag and then to even go as far as to rebook my flight.  God's hand was definitely in this and it was a quick reminder that He will always be faithful.  Lately I have been struggling to be faithful to the Lord and I find myself constantly asking Him to help me grow in faith.  I thought this was a wonderful birthday present (my birthday is tomorrow) and a wonderful reminder of His infinite goodness.  Isn't it wonderful how He always seems to work little miracles just when we need them?  We are so loved :)

I wish you all a Happy feast day of St. Gabriel tomorrow (Old Calendar) and continued blessings this Lenten season.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Temptation

Today's gospel and 2nd reading spoke about temptation and the consequences of our sins.  This along with reading of The Way of Perfection reminds me of how often I am tempted and how quickly I fall.

Often when we think of temptation we think of the temptation to steal, commit adultery, temptation to fornicate etc.  However there are other ways to be tempted.  First off, it should be acknowledge that moments of temptation are opportunities to choose whether we trust God or not, whether we want to love him above ourselves.  I am tempted daily not with the opportunity to steal, fornicate or commit adultery but rather with venial sins such as anger, impatience and pride.

Daily I ask the Lord to help me in the virtues and daily I find myself repeating the same sins.  I have cried out to Him in anger and frustration at my inability to "control" myself and to "get a better handle" on my emotions.  What I have failed to realize is that those instances where I respond with impatience, anger and pride I am given the opportunity to grow in the virtues and chose God above myself.  These instances that try my patience are opportunities to rely not on my personal strength but rather on the Lord.  As Jesus prayed to the Father during His agony so too must I learn to pray to the father and lift my voice to Him in supplication.

Often we are tempted to complain about our situations and a perceived lack of good fortune.  This is a perfect opportunity to be thankful and to open our eyes to the many blessings and graces that God continue to grant us.

As we progress through Lent, may we trust more and more in the Lord and may we focus not on our "lack of" things but rather on our many blessings, even those moments of frustration.

Friday, March 11, 2011

The truth about Lent

It is the third day of Lent and already I am struggling with my promises, not so much because of my own choosing but rather because I struggle to find a balance between time with my family and time with the Lord.

In this struggle to say faithful to my Lenten promises I am reminded that Lent is not necessarily at bout myself or even about being able to keep my promises.  It is about living out my faith day by day and improving my relationship with Christ.  The failings are a humbling experience, a gentle reminder that Lent is not about us and our individual goals but rather about keeping our gaze fixed on God.

May your journey this Lent be fruitful and filled with Blessings.

In Christ,
Hopeful

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

And so it begins

I can hardly believe that we have started the preparing for Easter already.  It seems that only a day ago we were preparing for Advent.

For days I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of Lent.  One would think that the desire for such a season is strange however for me, Lent much like Advent conveys feelings of joy.  Some think of Lent as being gloomy; I on the other hand think of it in other ways.  I am reminded of the profound love that God the Father had for us that He sent us His son; as well as the unending love from God the Son that He obediently died on a cross as reparation of our sins.

We often hear spouses and parents speak of willingness to die for a loved one, this example was lived out for us by Chris himself and Lent is my perfect reminder of that love.  It is a time when I am truly guided by the Holy Spirit to reflect on my sins; I feel as though a light is shining on me showing me my faults and I am given the great opportunity to counter these faults and grow in the virtues.

Despite my eager anticipation of Lent I had the hardest time coming up with spiritual exercises for Lent (I don't quite like the word penance) I tried to think of a way that I could grow into a deeper relationship with the Lord and to grow in the virtues.  I have finally decided on a series of penances/spiritual activities that I truly believe will help me grow closer to Him.  The purpose of "giving up" something is not for the sake of giving it up but rather to allow for more time with and closeness to the Lord.  With that in mind I made the following Lenten resolutions.
  • Technology Fast (this means very moderate use of technology - no Facebook at all, light use of Phatmass; nothing at all on Sundays no phone, TV or PC) This also means not watching secular shows or movies (unless of course it is a family occasion like this upcoming Friday)  I am sure you get the idea.
  • Adding in more spiritual reading; I recently picked up the book Fire Within and I am very much looking forward to getting into it.  I am also resolved to reading much of the books I have picked up in the past couple of years.  I feel that time spent in meditation and in reading the works of the great spiritual guides of our times (including the saints) will be of great help to me in my spiritual growth.
  • Daily Rosary - My sister and I started saying the rosary together and I am very happy.  She brought up the idea of us saying it together and I must say I am thrilled.  I am all for families praying together so praying with my sisters puts me over the moon (I am already planning on showing her how to pray the Office so we can pray Morning and Evening Prayers together.  However, I will go slow with the new stuff - all in God's time)
  • Spend more time in Meditation/Adoration - Right now I spend about 2-3 hours a week in Meditation/Adoration and I go about 2-3 times a week on average.  I would like to increase that by 2-3 hours and make my visits daily or at the very least 5 times a week.

I am sure there are other things I could do but these things I feel are at the base of it all.  I see these resolutions as part of my private resolve to live out my faith day by day and I trust that these changes in my normal routine will ultimately lead to growing in the virtues and a deeper relationship with God.  

I pray you all had a very blessed Ash Wednesday and I wish you a fruitful Lenten season.  I also invite you to share with me your Lenten practices.

May the Lord continue to Bless you all.

Pax,
Hopeful