Hope in the Lord

My car finally sold and by the Grace of God it sold for more than I owed on it.  This presented a wonderful opportunity for me to receive yet another confirmation of the Lord's call and another shower of graces.  I also learned that I was not a grantee for the MEFV grant this year and I have been trying to figure out why my outlook is still positive.  Granted, there are some fleeting moments of sadness when I think of waiting until next year to enter the convent.  I am then quickly comforted and reminded of God's providence.  I don't know why I feel this way, perhaps it is because of the knowledge that whatever God's timing is, it will be the perfect timing for me.

Had all of this been happening a couple of years ago it would have been enough to make me question my call to religious life and whether or not it was the will of God.  Now however, I find that I am constantly reminding myself to turn to him in moments of despair.  Despite the stumbles, I try to remember that the Lord has in fact called me and it is up to me to be open to finding out where this journey will lead.

I have always heard even repeated to others that the Lord does not give us more than we can handle.  I must say that until these past few months, this saying has been just words to me.  True I knew what it meant.  However, having to persevere despite these obstacles, I have truly understood what it means.  I realize that it has not been just me handling and facing these obstacles but the Lord with me.  Mother Teresa talks of this strong love that she felt for the Lord in the early years as a missionary.  She explains that she never felt that love again but yet she trusted and continued to hope in the Lord.  The same experience was shared by St. Teresa of Avila.  Through their moments of despair they continued to pray and hope in the Lord.  Such a strong hope in Him can only come through unwavering, growing faith.

Daily I ask the Lord to help me grow in faith and daily I see His hand in my life.  I pray and hope that like Moses, St. Teresa and Blessed mother Teresa I continue to trust, to pray and to grow in faith but most importantly to never cease to hope in the Lord.