A couple of weekends ago, I found myself questioning my desire and my love for the Lord, let me preclude by saying that I have been trying to finish this entry for some time now (since August 30th) and I find it hard to even articulate the detail my struggle - hard because there is so much that I would like to explain and also because I feel that admitting my struggles will somehow make it harder to deal with them. It seems that on the one hand I desire nothing but to be totally and completely belonging to Jesus. On the other hand, I am somewhat curious about the possibility of married life. Although I must admit, the curiosity is not necessarily because I truly want to consider that vocation but primarily because I am being tempted in the worst possible way. I am still questioning my vocation, not because I don't believe God is calling me but because I fear that I will forget to lean on him and will most surely fail in my journey.
I strongly believe that what I have been experiencing is nothing short of the evil one trying to lure me away, what scares me is that I am in danger of falling in his trap. I pray to God to have the strength and the widsdom to call on him in my moments of weakness, I know what I must do yet lately I have felt powerless to do it. I pray that I can remain rooted in prayer so that I may remain always and forever Christ's.
Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle during this time of Spiritual Warfare.
Saint Michael - Protect me!Mary, Mother of the Church - Pray for me