About Me

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Florida, United States
I am a Hopeful Bride of Christ and I long for the day I can dedicate all of my life to Him. I have been actively discerning religious life for about 4 years now and I have been accepted to enter the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church. I hope to begin formation soon and beg your prayers that my student loans do not keep me from entering. With your help and prayers I hope that my entrance to the SMMC will soon be reality. Rest assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers - most especially those young men and women discerning their vocations, whether to the religious life, priesthood or married life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey toward Him.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Knowing His will

A couple of weekends ago, I found myself questioning my desire and my love for the Lord, let me preclude by saying that I have been trying to finish this entry for some time now (since August 30th) and I find it hard to even articulate the detail my struggle - hard because there is so much that I would like to explain and also because I feel that admitting my struggles will somehow make it harder to deal with them.  It seems that on the one hand I desire nothing but to be totally and completely belonging to Jesus.  On the other hand, I am somewhat curious about the possibility of married life.  Although I must admit, the curiosity is not necessarily because I truly want to consider that vocation but primarily because I am being tempted in the worst possible way.  I am still questioning my vocation, not because I don't believe God is calling me but because I fear that I will forget to lean on him and will most surely fail in my journey.

I strongly believe that what I have been experiencing is nothing short of the evil one trying to lure me away, what scares me is that I am in danger of falling in his trap.  I pray to God to have the strength and the widsdom to call on him in my moments of weakness, I know what I must do yet lately I have felt powerless to do it.  I pray that I can remain rooted in prayer so that I may remain always and forever Christ's.

Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle during this time of Spiritual Warfare.

Saint Michael - Protect me!
Mary, Mother of the Church - Pray for me


  1. It is okay to be curious. It is quite natural because we were created to love and be loved, by God and one another, to pro-create and join in marriage and marriage is a holy vocation as well-in giving it up for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven is a holy and blessed act of love and faith in God.

    I have also been told by several priests and religious who interview/discern with candidates their vocation to the priesthood and religious life as seeing as a red flag any one who would say they never thought of marriage or would never want to marry.

    When I experienced this battle and learned what I have mentioned the battle was no longer difficult-it was actually no longer a battle, but a well-informed decision I needed to make. I saw it as just reviewing all vocations as they are and nothing else. And I thought I should have no fear because I am thinking and learning about the various vocations God has given us and it will not separate me from Him whom I love. It only brought me closer to my very own vocation as a religious and now look forward in entering and I have come to appreciate the vocation of marriage and the beauty of this vocation and its goodness knowing that even within these marriages are holy saints in the making.

    I am praying for you and thank you for your continued prayers. PAX!