Waiting... and Trusting

About a month ago I submitted my paperwork requesting entrance to the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church.  I have been working very hard at not paying attention to the time and trusting that the Lord will do it all in His time.  However, this task has proven to be just very difficult; I am trying quite hard to fight the urge to call and to inquire about the receipt of my documents and when I can expect a response.  Obedience is something I am learning to practice more and more daily.  As the prophet Samuel said to Saul "To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed better than the fat of rams" 1 Samuel 15:22. 

I have also applied for the MEFV and currently working with the Labouré Society for assistance in eliminating my student debt; I find that I'm overcome by a fear so great that it is sometimes painful to think of the future.  I fear that I may not be able to give my life to the Lord due to my financial obstacles.  I know these fears are due to a lack of utter trust in the Lord.  However, try as I might I cannot totally trust the Lord to take care of these obstacles.  This doubt in the Lord pains me even more so than my fear of not being able to truly be His and give my life for Him. 

When I started my discernment process, it seemed that I had all of the trust and none of the patience.  I remember begging the Lord to show me to tell me ASAP whether or not He was calling me and to show me in lightening speed what it is that He had planned for me.  What never worried me was my student debt; I always felt and trusted that if the Lord was calling me to Him my financial obstacles meant nothing.

Daily I find myself asking the Lord to take away my doubt and to help me to remain faithful to Him and to continue to trust.  I pray the Blessed Mother along with St. Michael can help me fight the devil's attempts to divert me from the Lord.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I strive each day to be Obedient to the Lord's timing and to trust in Him more and more.