Fundraising dinner

OK this will be a short post.

Last night I held a dinner for the purpose of raising funds towards my student loans.  The turnout was much better than I expected, about 60 people attended and my nerves weren't that bad (I stopped shaking  45 minutes into the night)

The focus of the night was vocations in the Church and the panelists that we had were incredible at catching the audience's attention.  Everyone in attendance (even the wee ones) thought that the panelists were "cool" and did a great job of tying together the similarities between the different vocations and how important they are to the church.

I don't know how much was raised but I do know that there is more of an awareness about the Laboure Society and the need to support young men and women with financial obstacles to their entrance to religious life or the priesthood.  I hope to do another dinner or two to help raise more funds.

Thank you all for the prayers and the support.  I ask for your continued prayers as the MEFV review board meets soon.

In Christ our Hope,
Hopeful

An honest prayer

Jesus I am scared.  I am scared that the magnitude of my student loans may discourage me and that my fears will overcome my trust in you.  I pray Lord that I do not allow any of my concerns to stop me from believing and trusting.  I ask you for the strength to persevere in prayer and in trust.

Jesus come to my aid, Jesus come to my aid.

Perfect Love

In St. Teresa’s The way of Perfection, she lays the foundation for her sisters in order that they may become better nuns. At the heart of this foundation are three things, the first of which is love for each other. She goes on to warn the sisters however that it is important to love each other equally so that the focus of the sisters’ relationship with each other does not become each other but the Lord.

In thinking about this simple command from this wise saint, I realize exactly what the Lord meant when He commanded those around Him to love each other. Jesus commanded His disciples to love each other so that hate could be eroded, so that there would not be room for any conflict among His followers. This love that St. Teresa refers to is the same love the Christ commanded his followers to practice and the same love that St. Paul listed as the greatest of all the virtues. For when we love each other equally, there is no room for alliances to develop and no room for one’s affection for another to lead to choosing sides and growing resentment towards those who might offend our friends. St. Teresa wisely points out that this kind of love applies not just among her nuns but also among siblings. She notes that even among brothers and sisters, such a love can be poisonous with no advantage.

Being one of four, I can definitely see the negative effect of such a love. Often times, I find myself siding with a favored sibling over another and blindly resenting one sibling over a perceived wrong to another. This blind love that is focused on the object of our love rather than the Lord is what St. Teresa speaks against. We are called to love one another deeply and equally. However, we must be conscious to assure that this deep love for one another is in line with, rather than in contradiction to, Christ’s love for us and our Love for him. In other words any love that drives us to commit evil or hateful acts towards another person is not true love. Christ loved all of us and this love led him to the cross; in his perfect way of loving He even forgave His persecutors. St. Teresa is calling us to that perfect love, a love that sees beyond any hurt and offenses.

Let us resolve to love each other perfectly, to make God the focus of all of our relationships. I pray dear readers that we continue to grow in this love more and more everyday and I ask you to pray for me that I too may continue to grow in perfect love.

Pax,
Hopeful

News

Rejoice with me dear readers as I praise the Lord and the intercessory powers of our Lady!!  My mother just called me to let me know that she was offered a job.  She has been looking for well over a year and in desperation I have been offering every rosary for her (for over four months) that our Lady would intercede.

This news comes at a time when I was asking the Lord to take away my doubts.  Doubts that He could indeed provide and remove obstacles to my summer entry into the SMMC and doubts that my mother would find a job. 

I have watched my mother grow sadder and sadder as the months passed with no prospect, as her faith in the Lord's ability to provide dwindled.  This wavering of her faith in the Lord's providence affected me more than I was willing to admit.  With the news of this offer of employment, the Lord has given me a sign that I knew better than to ask for.  It is proof enough that the Lord knows exactly what we need.  In my many offered rosaries my one request was that the Lord would come to her aid, that she may trust in Him and that His will for her be done.

I am looking forward to my adoration hour this evening as I cannot wait to sit in front of Christ and share my joy and my gratitude.  With this miracle, I am forever more convinced that the Lord walks with me daily.

I pray that you too come to the knowledge and realization that though there may be bouts of drought, he is forever there.

In Christ our Hope,
Hopeful

Humility

It's amazing the eye-openers that we receive just when we need them.  The graces that the Lord has given me astound me day and day.

Though I fervently hope to enter formation next summer, I am fully aware that the Lord's will must prevail and I must allow Him to work with me and in me.  The biggest obstacle to my entrance right now is my student debt and the astounding amount brings me some moments of desperation.  The folks at the Laboure Society are working with me on a campaign to bring it down so that I can live out my yes.

When it comes to working with the Laboure Society for debt relief, the aspirant is very involved in the process.  The society assists with the campaigning but the aspirant reaches out to friends, family members and even strangers for assistance.  This process has shown me how much I need to grow in humility.  At first I worried about the burden I might place on others by asking them to support my vocation when I should be responsible for my incurred debt.  As time progressed I started realizing that this was due to my pride (which I didn't realize was such a hindrance)  I look to our Lady for help in my moments of self-righteousness and extreme pride.  I ask for her intercession, that I may be more like her in humility, obedience and love of the Lord. 

I have started reaching out to friends and family and have asked for their assistance in getting donors and supporters willing to assist me.  I have also been making rosaries and currently working on a quilt that I hope to sell.  What has been my biggest hurdle is the idea that by getting assistance from these generous donors I am getting "something" for "nothing".   It is for this reason I am making rosaries and knitting/sewing things to sell.  I am planning a dinner for later this month and have asked the ladies in my circle for assistance in planning, decorating as well as securing items that I may be able to auction/raffle off.  I realize how much humility it took for me to ask the ladies for assistance; not so much because I don't wish to ask for help but because I focus on all the wrong things rather than laying down all of my concerns about people's reaction and willingness to donate.  At the heart of these concerns is one issue: the fact that I don't totally trust God.  

When I think of some of the saints I admire the most, especially Saint Teresa of Avila, and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta I want nothing more than to trust the Lord like they did.  They had Trust in the Lord that came only from knowing Him well and having a strong relationship with Him.  I wish for nothing more than that and as I deepen my prayer life I hope to gain that closeness to Him.  In all the great saints there was a correlation between closeness with the Lord and growing in the virtues.  I aim to grow in virtues and in closeness withe the Lord.

Please keep me in your prayers, that I continue to rely not on myself but on the Lord and the saints in my quest to live a more virtuous life.

2011 is here

Happy New Year and Solemnity of our Lady!

I missed mass today because I woke up late and I wasn't even able to go to adoration, I didn't like how the new year started at all.  I do my hour in adoration tomorrow and boy have I missed sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament.  During my travels during these past weeks I have not had the chance to go in for adoration; either because the parish didn't have adoration or because I had no transportation to get to adoration. 

I know the new year is all about making resolutions and I didn't think about making any.  However, in the spirit of the new year I have been thinking about a few things that I would like to do. 

• Sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament every day (even if it's for 20 mn)
• Get closer to the saints, especially St. Teresa of Avila and St. Simon (my patron for this year)
• Stop being so hard on myself, especially when it comes to my spiritual battles.  I am finding that when I fail the Lord, I tend to get myself in a downward spiral that never ends.
• Focus on the graces the Lord has given me more so than my failures
• Gain ten pounds :)

I am hoping that these things lead to a closer and deeper relationship with the Lord and make me a more grateful daughter to him.  I also hope that I can continue to stay focused on my gifts and stay faithful to my vocation.

You are all in my prayers as we enter this new year and I ask you to please keep me in yours.

In Christ,
HB