About Me

My photo
Florida, United States
I am a Hopeful Bride of Christ and I long for the day I can dedicate all of my life to Him. I have been actively discerning religious life for about 4 years now and I have been accepted to enter the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church. I hope to begin formation soon and beg your prayers that my student loans do not keep me from entering. With your help and prayers I hope that my entrance to the SMMC will soon be reality. Rest assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers - most especially those young men and women discerning their vocations, whether to the religious life, priesthood or married life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey toward Him.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Detachment

This morning in adoration I was reading today's mediation which happened to be on detachment.  I expected to read something profound about the need to give up material things for a closer relationship with the Lord.  In fact, I did read something to that effect.  However, what struck me was the realization that in my quest for closeness with Christ, I should not stop at my smart-phone, my boots, or computer.  I need to look at particular friendship and how they affect my relationship with Christ.  The ones that do not affect it for the better, I must give up.

I started thinking about my friends, some of them I love dearly but the reality is that they are not helping me live my life as a true child of God.  In fact, I find that I often have to repressed that side of me in order to put them at ease and to not seem "preachy" or "self-righteous".  How do I turn my back on a friendship that is 3, 4, 5 and in some cases over 8 years old?  How do I say to someone, I love you but I love Christ more?  How do you tell someone that the very reason you must part ways is the very thing about you they do not know let alone understand?

Today's meditation draws from today's gospel and I would have never made the connection to the need for detachment had it not been for the meditation.  The villagers chased Jesus out of their parts because to them the life of the man saved was not worth the life of the herd of swine lost.  Unfortunately they could not see beyond their material needs and wants.  Up until today, I can honestly say that I was just like them, I was unable to see beyond the need to have my friends in my life, beyond the need to keep my social circle as it is and I never made the connection that some friendships were in the way of my relationship with Christ and my development as a Christian woman.  I have been thinking of some friendships that I might need to distance myself from but was never fully willing to give them up, I could not see..... correction, I was not willing to admit the truth about what effect they have on my relationship with Christ.

I don't know how but I know that I must say some goodbyes.  I will continue my prayers for strength and hope that the Holy Spirit remains with me when I come face to face with those hard decisions.

As always I beg your prayers.

Pax,
Hopeful

3 comments:

  1. Wow, that is really tough. And I can identify with having friends/family who you feel you have to suppress that side out of fear of sounding self-righteous. But even though it will be a sacrifice to let go, what a blessing to realize that you had this attachment and can now work on letting it go.
    ~K

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes it is tough and finding a way to step away from some relationships can be difficult. I am finding that the realization of what I must do I think is even tougher because I find that I am worrying too much about not hurting anyone's feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Detachment is never easy. I am being challenged to move forward. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I detached from many things and people that leads me away from Christ. If I need support from others while I am discerning, I need people who are willing to lead me closer to God and His will for my life. I can understand what you are going through. That's something to think about before Lent starts in a few weeks.

    ReplyDelete