Yesterday during a short visit to the Blessed Sacrament, I started going through my notebook and realized how close I am to experiencing my own "dark night" Of course I know the reason for this, I am not rooted enough in prayer. A few months ago, I was finding myself in the adoration chapel about two times a day and was saying about 4 of the 7 offices. Now, I have found that I am flooded with projects and a never-ending to do list that I have allowed to slowly take priority over my relationship with my intended. This of course, is my own doing; I need to learn to put the following letters together N-O. Until I do that, I must suffer the consequences (being distant from my love)
I didn't mean for it to happen but somehow, I found myself barely saying morning and evening prayer and fighting to say the rosary daily. I know I can't possibly live like a religious while I am out in the world. However, I am determined to do as much as possible to prepare and condition myself for life as a religious. Not so much so that I can get used to "life on the inside" but rather so that I never lose sight of my love. I know one thing for sure, I love Christ dearly and want to continue loving Him, the only change I would like is to see that love continue to grow. I know the one way to make sure that happens is to continue to keep in contact with Him. I am not satisfied with just going to daily mass, I want to do more to nurture my spiritual life and to strengthen our relationship.
The point of this post, is to say this; the notes that I re-read yesterday reminded me of where my focus should be and what my goal is - to be one with Him - In an effort to keep myself rooted and focused on Him, I will try to post some of these past reflections on a daily basis. Some of them are quite short while others are rather long and have no aim (at least that is what I think of them) some are short personal prayers while others are some questions that have come up during my spiritual readings.
As you read them, give me some feedback and let me know if I you would like to see more of them.
In Christ my Love
- Florida, United States
- I am a Hopeful Bride of Christ and I long for the day I can dedicate all of my life to Him. I have been actively discerning religious life for about 4 years now and I have been accepted to enter the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church. I hope to begin formation soon and beg your prayers that my student loans do not keep me from entering. With your help and prayers I hope that my entrance to the SMMC will soon be reality. Rest assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers - most especially those young men and women discerning their vocations, whether to the religious life, priesthood or married life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey toward Him.